Your spouse has to remain that favorite person on earth with his/her every thought, word and love captivating you till death do you part
Being married is a beautiful thing and it’s a choice
you have to make over and over again. Your spouse has to remain that
favorite person on earth. His or her every thought, word and deed
captivated you ... so much so that you took a vow to be devoted to each
other "until death do us part." So how do you let him/her know you
still feel the same even after years/months of being married? Here are
four simple yet powerful ways to feel captivated by your spouse again:
1. Begin by choosing YOURSELF.
Not
loving yourself will cause you to share the same feeling to your
spouse. "Relationships often reflect the deepest part of ourselves,"
says dating and relationship coach Clayton Olson. "Whether
or not you choose your partner usually reflects how truly you choose
yourself. Self-love is a requirement to true love. Accepting and loving
yourself, just the way that you are, allows freedom to love and accept
your partner without trying to change them."
So,
today (and every day) be a little kinder to yourself. Start focusing on
things you like about yourself instead of nit-picking yourself
constantly. Then share some of that accepting warmth with your partner.
2. Take time off to focus just on each other
According to marriage coach and counselor Lesli Doares, "in
the beginning of a relationship, we focus a lot of time learning
everything we can about each other. But quickly 'life' takes over and
our spouse gets bumped to the back burner as other tasks and priorities
take precedence. Show your partner he or she is still what matters most
to you by making a ritual of spending focused time with each other, even
briefly.
"Taking at least twenty minutes
per day to deeply focus on your partner (and their day) makes them feel
so important and like you really do still care," Doares adds.
"So, put your phone down, turn the TV off, back away from the laptop and
look your partner in the eye while you talk to each other or hug for a
few powerful minutes. Those brief respites of loving focus will help
keep you both feeling charged and deeply connected the rest of the day."
3. Touch each other without being always sexual
Too
much sex has its advantages and disadvantages in any marriage so unless
your spouse/partner still feels truly chosen by you, the quality of
your sex life will likely decline quickly. According to personal relationship coach, Lewis Brown Griggs, "letting less sexuality win any time a non-interest in sex is sensed or requested."
Instead
of rejecting or snubbing your partner in those moments, show your
partner that you happily choose him or her, even when sex isn't
happening. Treat your partner with tender care and deep affection at
those times. "You'll notice an enormous mutual benefit not only from
being more tender and sensually connected, but often a more loving and
intimate sexuality emerges from that tolerance of sex sometimes not
being desired," Griggs says.
4. Thank your partner for something every day
It's
so easy to take your partner for granted, but to be honest — he or she
doesn't have to do anything for you for you to say thank you. Frequently
recognize the kindness and effort your spouse pours in your direction. "We often miss opportunities to thank our spouse or partner," says licensed professional counselor Elizabeth Casey. "We
don’t have to wait until our spouse moves heaven and earth to say
'thank you;' there are small moments every day when you can make your
partner feel appreciated. Say 'thank you' for taking the garbage out,
for making sure laundry is folded, and all the little things that make a
big difference in your life!"
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